The challenges of motherhood are real and shared among mums. What I Wish I knew about motherhood is all here. Motherhood is a whole new kettle of fish, it changes everything about you and everything around you.
There are things you truly don’t understand until you first step into motherhood, a newborn squishy baby in hand. It can feel like a lot.
So today I am breaking down the Preconceived ideas about motherhood and what I have learned since stepping into the world of motherhood over 6 months ago.
Make sure you grab our nappy bag packing list! Then you will be one step ahead of the challenges in motherhood…
Preconceived Ideas About Motherhood
Before I had my daughter, I had so many ideas about what motherhood was going to look like. Well, I guess it is how I wanted it to look like!
When that didn’t happen I really struggled, I didn’t understand why it wasn’t exactly like I imagined it to be and that sucked…
Pregnancy Is Magical
Pregnancy can be magical. It can also be very fu**ing, not magical. Guess which experience I had? Not hard to guess is it.
Growing a baby is magic right. Amazingly, we can grow a whole other functioning human being within our bodies. But getting to that functioning human being can be not so magical.
Pregnancy was an extensive list of suffering for me…
- Throwing up
- Hating all food
- Being mad
- Getting the ick with my fiance
- Feeling constantly sick
- Exhaustion ( I slept 22 hours a day if people would let me)
- Sciatic nerve pain
Look I don’t know if it could have been any worse, but as cliché as it sounds. It WAS all worth it to have my wee girl now.
The point is, you really never know how pregnancy is going to go for you. Whether it is magical or isn’t magical everything you feel and go through is real and valid.
Plus the biggest thing to remember is that this is only a season and it does pass. Even though during the season it feels like it is taking forever. Just remember ‘This too shall pass’.
Birth Is Hard And Scary
I definitely thought birth was going to be this hard and scary experience. It could be for you. But if you strip it back down, it is just a very natural human experience and people do it every day.
The cool thing about birth is it happens quickly and the chances are you will barely remember it, I guess that is why people go back for more.
Not only will you barely remember it a few weeks after even, but medicine and resources around natural physiological birth are also so great now.
Anything you want to learn about you can, and whatever birth plan you decide on there are so many tools available to help you completely follow your plan and love your birth.
I had an emergency c-section and I still loved it and thought it was magical even after 12 hours of crazy labor…
The point is a lot of times we can choose how we react but not always, so being kind and having grace is really important in these situations…
For me, I think birth was made easier by having a hard pregnancy. So I guess I felt gratitude in that sense but the experience is different for everyone.
Morning Sickness Happens In The Morning
Morning sickness, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t always strike in the morning. It can hit you at any time of the day, like a surprise attack from an enemy you never saw coming.
Trust me, I’ve been there. It’s like your body decides to rebel against you just when you least expect it. So, forget about the name “morning sickness” because it’s a misleading term.
It should be called “all-day sickness” or “round-the-clock nausea.” But hey, who am I to rename it? I’m just here to tell it like it is.
And the truth is, morning sickness can make your life a living hell, no matter what time of day it decides to strike.
So, buckle up and prepare yourself for a rollercoaster ride of queasiness and unexpected bathroom breaks. Trust me when I say that usually, it goes away at a certain point!
Plus being sick the whole time helped me love birth…
You Feel Connected To Your Baby The Whole Way
Pregnancy can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and feeling disconnected from your baby is more common than you might think. It’s okay if you don’t feel an immediate bond – everyone’s experience is different.
Some moms-to-be feel that instant connection, while others take a little more time. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Just remember, your journey is unique and your love for your baby will grow in its own time. So, cut yourself some slack and embrace the journey, quirks, and all.
Again I feel like there is this expectation to feel this insane connection and I think that isn’t always the case. You can feel your baby and can’t see it and till they are in your arms it can feel unreal.
I knew my baby was coming but until she was in my arms there was always a part of me expecting to wake up to reality. This I feel was partly a coping mechanism as well, just in case.
Breastfeeding Is ‘Natural’
Breastfeeding doesn’t always come naturally. It can be a challenging and frustrating experience for many new mothers.
Despite the common belief that breastfeeding is instinctual, it often requires patience, practice, and support to establish a successful breastfeeding relationship. I struggled with the fact that it really was so unnatural to learn!
From latch issues to low milk supply, numerous obstacles can arise. New mothers need to seek guidance from lactation consultants, attend support groups, and reach out to other breastfeeding mothers for advice and encouragement.
Remember, every breastfeeding journey is unique, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Don’t be too hard on yourself, mama!
You’re doing an amazing job nourishing and bonding with your baby. Keep going, and remember that breastfeeding is a learning process for both you and your little one.
Even if you are finished your breastfeeding journey just know you have done an amazing job!
What Are The Biggest Challenges Of Motherhood
Motherhood poses so many challenges, I have been going through a season of challenges in my journey through motherhood so this post couldn’t have come at a better time.
Touched Out
When your baby comes, all they know is you… All they are going to want for the next wee while is you. Your warmth, the sound of your heartbeat, your smell, and your voice are all going to be crucial to their development.
In the early days of having a baby, I don’t think I realized that she was going to want to touch me all the time!
“NO ONE has ever wanted to touch me this much” It felt so overwhelming and overstimulating… but with time it changes.
As I said earlier in that season I couldn’t wait for her to not need to be fed so much, not need to be rocked so much, and just not need to touch me all the time. I do miss it now.
Touch from you to your baby has so many benefits and is great for development. You can’t ‘spoil’ your baby by holding them.
Identity Crisis
Another challenge of motherhood is feeling a loss of identity.
As a mother, indeed, your identity can sometimes feel overshadowed by the title of “mum.” It’s like you become a superhero with a secret identity, but instead of a cool costume, you’re rocking sweatpants and messy hair.
But hey, being a mum is a pretty amazing gig. You may lose a bit of your old self, but you gain a whole new level of love, strength, and resilience.
So embrace the chaos, wear that “mum” badge with pride, and remember that being a mum is just one part of the incredible person you are. You’re still you, just with a few extra superpowers.
Realizing that my mum was a professional dancer when I couldn’t imagine it at all as she was simply ‘my mum’ made me realize that as a mother we wear many hats.
Wearing those different hats makes us realize you can still have parts of you, but as a mother your identity does change, it morphs and has new elements and that is totally ok.
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Change In The Meaning Of Productivity
I was a list person. I would write a colour-coded list of about 20 things. I would number it 1-20 and absolutely power through my day getting as much done as possible.
Then m daughter arrives.
Goodbye, productive days.
What I didn’t realize is she brought a new type of productivity to my life.
Productivity with a newborn is no easy feat. It’s all about taking care of them and making sure their needs are met. But let’s be real, it can be challenging to juggle everything else on top of that.
However, don’t beat yourself up about it. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job just by being there for your little one. Being productive is simply keeping your tiny human alive.
So, take it one step at a time, prioritize what’s important, and don’t forget to give yourself some grace. You got this! Ask for help with the other stuff and just focus on your baby for this small snippet in time.
Overstimulation
Being a mum can be overwhelming at times, and overstimulation is a common occurrence. With so much to juggle and constant demands on our attention, it’s no wonder we can feel overloaded.
Overstimulation is caused by limited downtime. From the never-ending noise and chaos to the constant need for multitasking, it can be hard to find a moment of peace.
But hey, we’re all in this together, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Take a deep breath, find moments of self-care, and remember that you’re doing an amazing job, even when it feels like too much.
Finding a moment of self-care can look like this:
- Ask someone else to do your kid’s bedtime routine so you can shower longer, and maybe do some skin care.
- Asking someone to babysit so you can go to the hairdresser, go for a walk, or go out to lunch.
- Being intentional in spending time by yourself doing things you enjoy once the kids are in bed.
- Journaling or planning can help you feel so much more in control.
Navigating A Relationship
The hardest challenge of motherhood I have found is navigating a relationship alongside becoming a parent.
I have heard a lot of people say the hardest year of their relationship was the first year of their baby’s life. It is true. But you will get through it.
Understanding that it is only a phase that your relationship is going through is vital. Don’t make quitting an option.
Learning how to be good parents, which can be harder for one parent than the other sometimes, makes it hard to remember each other.
Prioritizing time with each other and communication as well as allowing each other grace in this time is so important to keep building a healthy relationship.
What Is The Hardest Stage Of Motherhood
Motherhood is a journey filled with challenges, and what may be the hardest stage varies from person to person.
For some, it’s the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes in the newborn phase. Others find the toddler years, with their tantrums and constant need for attention, to be the most trying.
And let’s not forget the teenage years, when hormones run wild and battles for independence ensue.
Personally, I believe that each stage has its own unique difficulties, but with a little humor, support, and a strong cup of coffee, we can conquer them all.
Knowing that no matter what you find challenging. If you show up for your babies every day, you are a great mother.
What Is The Value Of Motherhood
There are so many valuable parts of motherhood that make the challenging parts worth it.
Feeling Fulfilled
For some, motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment. It’s like a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but one that brings immense joy and purpose to life.
From the moment you hold your little one in your arms, you know that your heart is forever changed.
The sleepless nights and endless diaper changes may test your patience, but the unconditional love you receive in return is worth every sacrifice.
Watching your child grow and learn, witnessing their first steps, and hearing their contagious laughter, fills your heart with an indescribable sense of pride and fulfillment.
Yes, motherhood comes with its challenges, but the bond you share with your child is unlike any other.
It’s a journey that shapes you, teaches you, and brings out the best version of yourself. So, if you ask me, motherhood is the greatest adventure that fills your life with purpose and fulfillment. It can be different for everyone.
Realizing The Strength You Didn’t Know You Had
Motherhood is a crash course in discovering your own strength. From the moment you hold your child for the first time, you realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought possible.
The sleepless nights, the endless diaper changes, the tantrums, and the tears – they all test your limits and push you to the edge. But somehow, you find the strength to keep going.
You become a master of multitasking, a pro at problem-solving, and a champion of perseverance.
Motherhood teaches you that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way, no matter how challenging or overwhelming it may seem.
Not every day will you feel super, but you would be surprised at just how much you really achieve. And you are always great in your baby’s eyes.
It’s a crash course in resilience and a constant reminder of just how strong you truly are. So embrace the chaos, trust in your instincts, and know that you are a force to be reckoned with. Motherhood has a way of bringing out the superhero in all of us.
Watching Them Grow
The challenge of motherhood is watching your babies grow up before your eyes! Watching your babies grow is an incredibly special experience. It’s like witnessing tiny miracles unfold before your eyes. You can’t believe they have hit one milestone and before you process it they are hitting the next.
From their first smile to their first steps, every milestone is a cause for celebration. It’s amazing to see their personalities develop and their curiosity about the world deepens.
Sure, there are sleepless nights and messy diapers, but the joy and love they bring far outweigh any challenges.
The cliché is true. Cherish every moment, because before you know it, they’ll be all grown up.
The Little Things
Motherhood is truly a transformative experience. It has a way of opening your eyes to the beauty and wonder in the smallest moments.
It’s amazing how a simple smile or a tiny giggle can make your heart swell with love and appreciation. Even mundane tasks, like folding tiny clothes or preparing meals, become opportunities to cherish the precious moments spent with your child.
It’s a constant reminder to slow down, be present, and savor every precious second. Motherhood has a way of shifting your perspective and reminding you of what truly matters in life.
So, embrace the chaos, relish in the messiness, and find joy in the little things. Trust me, you’ll never regret enjoying the little things.
Embracing Motherhood
The challenges of motherhood are there, but there are so many things you can do to help yourself cope better with your new role.
Doing Things To Make Your Mind Quiet
Doing things to help your mind be still can help with that overstimulation and touched-out feeling that is one of the many challenges of motherhood.
Try:
- Gardening
- Reading
- Walking
- Planning
- Journaling
- Cleaning
- Meditating
- Yoga
Anything that will make you feel still for a moment.
Being An Advocate For YOUR Baby
Being an advocate for your baby is going to help you with so many challenges during motherhood.
Being an advocate for your baby is crucial for their well-being and development. As a parent, it’s important to stay informed and proactive in ensuring their needs are met.
Whether it’s advocating for their healthcare, education, or general safety, your involvement can make a significant difference. Don’t be afraid to speak up, ask questions, and seek support when needed.
Asking For Help
The challenges of motherhood can feel isolating. As a busy mom, it’s important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a smart move.
Juggling multiple responsibilities can be overwhelming, and there’s no shame in reaching out for support.
Whether it’s asking a family member or friend to watch the kids for a few hours, hiring a babysitter, or even seeking advice from other moms online
Striving to make connections can make everything feel less overwhelming.
You Can’t Do It All
As a mum, it’s important to remember that you can’t do it all, and that’s perfectly okay. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Juggling work, household chores, and taking care of the kids can be overwhelming. But guess what? You’re only human! Give yourself a break and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Ask for help when you need it, whether it’s from your partner, family, or friends. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job, even if you can’t do it all.
So take a deep breath, embrace imperfection, and know that you’re doing the best you can.
The Challenges Of Motherhood In Review…
There are challenges in just about anything we do in life… The way we deal with them leads straight to the outcome for us.
I wanted to share these with you today so you know you are not alone, and you don’t have to be. Being a mum can be something you love or something you just do and you can still be great at it.
Understanding the good and bad is key to having grace as a mum and understanding the challenges of motherhood is the first step to achieving that.
The challenges of motherhood are tough but you are tougher.
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